Welcome to Flight 666

Passengers are welcome to United-Continental-Delta’s 5 p.m. Flight 666 to Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. Our boarding process is expected to begin at 6:30. Until then, please listen to these important announcements.

To better serve you, UCD’s Star Quality class service on this plane has been configured for UCD's new "aisle-free" flying. After the doors close, there will be no cabin service to these seats and customers may not move around the cabin or use the restrooms reserved for UCD’s prestige-class customers. Adult diapers are for sale as you board the plane.

The boarding pass you obtained at check-in indicates your seat size. Passengers with an S on their boarding passes will board first and occupy the standard-size seats at the back of the airplane. Passengers with an EXL on their boarding passes will board second and occupy the plus-sized seats at the front of the Star Quality section.

Remember that these seats have been especially sized for your comfort. Customers with S boarding passes have not paid for and may not occupy EXL seats.

Because there is no room in or under seats and there are no overhead compartments, all hand carried items including purses, cameras, briefcases and books have been tagged and will be available to be picked up at the end of the flight. When you board, please have your hands above your heads so that attendants may determine if any additional items need to be tagged and checked.

Entertainment is available on the screen on the seatback in front of you. Our entertainment partners will provide you with previews of their latest shows and films. The sound is brought to you through our state of the art speakers in the ceiling of the aircraft. You may not adjust the picture or sound, but you are always free to look out our vista-view windows.

Boarding will begin soon. Welcome to the friendly skies!

Comments

[Fat Man]

Standing Room Only.

www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2006/04/25/business/20060425_SEATS_GRAPHIC.html

Not a joke anymore.